Sore Loser Fail

Aaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha!!!

"I've Been Bamboozled!"/The Silver Lining

Well, well, well... a return to the Banana on such a dramatic day...

If you so wish to continue on this post, make sure you're firmly strapped in with all limbs inside the vehicle... it's going to be a rollercoaster of a ride.

This morning I arose not so keen on my plans for the day. I had been set up with an interview at a company, my second of the week, and to be honest... I wasn't as thrilled for this one as the one I had attended yesterday. Oh man, that was only yesterday. Regardless, I put on my second-best "I'm completely employable" outfit and headed into Phoenix. When I got there I was directed to a small office off to the side of building. The nice lady greeted me at the door, shook my hand, and handed me three pieces of paper. The top two were the formal application - "Fill these out and let me know when you're done". The last one was the formal job description they had "forgotten" to send to me. My first impression was "Wow... this is an intense job description for a desk job..."

And then I see it...

Glaring in my face...

"Must know or be willing to learn how to operate a forklift."

A FORKLIFT?! What the hell kind of desk job requires you to use a forklift?! A mental image quickly pops in my head... me... on a large yellow forklift... twirling around in circles... weeeeeeeeeeeee.... then smashing into a large pile of what appears to be important boxes. No - no way could I be employed at a place that required me - scratch that- allowed me to operate a forklift. Do they know what kind of liability they would be taking on?! I can't snowboard without spraining my entire body or carry chairs without almost breaking my foot... let alone operate a forklift without causing a building to collapse.

I read through the rest of the description... purchase orders... inventory... currier services. This was no desk job... it's a warehouse job. So I stood up, very politely told the lady that I was under the wrong impression about the job, thanked her for her time and consideration but... I just didn't think this job was for me.

I had been so bamboozled!

I headed home... laughed my ass off... changed back into pajamas... hung out for a little while. Then it came... the dreaded email...

I had interviewed for a job yesterday morning that I really wanted - REALLY wanted. Unfortunately, there were a number of "very qualified candidates"... blah blah blah. I didn't get the job. I pouted. Yes, even cried a little. Responded with a very polite and professional email. And burrowed.

Yes, I burrowed in my bed. Like a toddler, I grabbed my stuffed monkey, pulled the covers over my head and cried. Yeah... it's as pathetic as you are imagining it in your head right now. After about 20 minutes... I started getting angry.

No, no. Not angry with the school - they just did what they felt was best fit for them. And no, not angry because I had somehow "blown the interview". Angry with me because... what the hell am I doing? Why am I applying for and stressing over full time jobs when I really want to go to Graduate School? IDIOT!

So... I unburrowed myself. Pulled out the very buried Grad School preparation file and went to work. How did I get so far from what I wanted to do? I'll tell you what it was... Student Loan Debt. F That. I'm going back to school.

Now I'm at work. Yes, still one of TWO. At least I have an income, right? I have a roof over my head, food on my plate and a kitty that loves me unconditionally. Eventually things will straighten out for me... but for now I need to stay on a straight path.

Absentee

Have you been checking the Banana? Have you been greatly disappointed by the lack of posts?

My apologies. In fact, too much has been going on to write about but most of it with too little entertainment value.

Lion King is in town and feel as if it has consumed my life. My dreams rock out to "Hakuna Matata" (with some surprising subconscious effects) and I very frequently run out of black and white clothing. Regardless, I still love my job, the people I work with and the fact that it's definitely contributing to my Europa fund.

Other than that, I would love to report more but so much is in the air. So this will have to do for now. Hopefully I'll have exciting news before the week is out.

Until then....

Hakuna Matata

Gay Marriage Can Save the Economy!

I'm sure many of you have seen this video but I love it so I'm posting it. Enjoy!

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... by Jack Black

Marbles

There's something to be said about independence. I'm not talking about the incomparable feeling of being at liberty to do what ever it is that tickles your fancy. I'm referring to the lack of dependence - on other people. More specifically, emotional independence.
There's something to be said about someone who has spent much of their adult life learning not to depend on other people. I'm not talking about the inability to trust others. I'm referring to the lack of relying on someone else for stability and sanity.
There's something to be said about having it together. I'm not talking about having life planned out. I'm referring to the ability to have nothing all put together and still be sane.

I have spent much of the past couples years conditioning myself to deal with life's hail storms solo. I've made a really strong attempt at keeping my head together and dealing with problems with grace. At times, it worked out in my favor - when it was all over with, I thought to myself, "Well done, Jen." However, it seems lately, more often than not, I think, "You're better than that." Having built an emotional cocoon inside of myself, I have spent the past few years striving to prove that I can, as I truly believe, handle it all myself.

This is not to imply that I don't talk to anyone about things that emotionally affect me. In fact, if you're reading this, you know for certain that I do. Nor is this to imply that it is a chore for me to share things that affect me or don't appreciate the time spent listening to me. I certainly appreciate it. A moment always comes to mind when I think of sharing a story with someone. That moment was when a friend told me, "You depend on me too much. You need me too much." That statement, which probably seemed so small to him at that time, has instilled in me a deliberate intention not to tell someone too much. That comment alone has scarred me. What this friend didn't understand was that I didn't need him at all. I share because I want to - not because I need to. I let people into my world because it's something I want to share with them - specifically. Some people are told stories and others are completely left out. But never is my intention to spread the burden. Everyone has heard me say, "I'm not looking for advice - I just needed to rant".

There's something to be said about independence - but lately, everything that could be said is not even remotely positive. There is a breaking point with people and I'm about two bad situations away from cracking. The events of the past week and half have sunk me into the most pathetic depressive state that even the most emo kids would be jealous of my dark mood. The incident at work (G) still has me rattled to the core. The memories won't leave my head and I'm still waking in the night from little terrors. Even more so, I'm filling the role of HM tonight... you can imagine the nervousness. My other place of employment has me so unhappy that I rarely feel fulfilled or even positive about myself while there or after I've left. I frequently think to myself, "What the hell am I doing here?" Then I'm forced to remember that rent must be paid and all those jobs I've applied to haven't even called me back for an interview. A week from Friday I graduate... well, kind of. I haven't completed my foreign language yet, so the relief that is commonly associated with graduation is completely lost. "The Girl with a Plan"... has no plan. A fact I was fine with until I realized that after New Year's I would have to return to a job situation that makes me miserable. Speaking of New Year's, I have the opportunity to take an amazing trip with my amazing boyfriend... issue: no amazing money to pay for it. In addition, I've had crippling knee problems over the past month that are getting exponentially worse - perfect conditions for snowboarding. On the topic of snowboarding, trip to see Warren Miller with best friend (maybe still?) turned out to be a complete disaster. This coming after getting in a fight with both my best friend for the first time ever (for an eight year friendship, that's pretty amazing) and undecided-situation best friend within 12 hours of each other. In addition to all of this, I attended my final fraternity meeting as a student brother - something I didn't think I would be too broken up about but I feel like I just had an appendage severed from my body. I've spent the last four and half years with my fraternal obligations involuntarily at the forefront of my mind - now it's entirely up to me to keep it there.

There really is something to be said about independence. All of this I keep on my shoulders. I don't seek to spread the burden because only I can do anything to make my life any easier. Please note that this doesn't even begin to touch on the outside influences of my life that I must also deal with. Even as I typed that I thought that this isn't to imply that my life is absolutely terrible either. I have my blessings. The point of all of this really is ask people to please consider before they ridicule, question, argue, blame or criticize to consider the situations of someone other than themselves. I am only one person and there is only so much I can do...there is only so much I can handle. Afterall, I've been conditioned to be emotionally independent.

Am I finally looking for advice? No. I just needed to rant.

Grab The Closest Book

My China Friend posted this on Facebook as a status game, but I think it's fun... so I'm putting it on my blog.

* Grab the book closest to you. Now.
* Go to page 56.
* Find the 5th sentence.
* Write that sentence in a comment.
* Don't go looking for your favorite book, or the coolest one you have - just grab the closest one.

Mine:

"And yet," said Smee, "I have often heard you say that hook was worth a score of hands, for combing the hair and other homely uses."

The Plague of Finals...

... I think I'm getting sick.

Newscast

This was too funny not to repost.

There is a god...

I don't know how many of you out there are as creeped out by Bratz dolls as I am... but I found reassurance that maybe... just maybe... these creepy-ass things will go away.



Don't mess with Barbie
Let's get something straight — Barbie may look like a bombshell, but she's no pushover. Mattel, the makers of the iconic doll, recently won a prolonged legal battle with MGA, the manufacturers of Bratz. The outcome of the legal battle puts into question the future of the creepy-looking Bratz figures. A federal court ruled that MGA was to be banned from making and selling "the saucy Barbie alternative." Why? Apparently, the court found that the creator of Bratz came up with the idea while working for Mattel. Hence, the idea belongs to the house that Barbie built.

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/92080

I'll Admit It...

This made me cry a little....

Happy Days: The Musical

Roomie and I went to see "Happy Days: The Musical" tonight at Gammage. Being the bums that we are, we went using my Dollar Ticket perk (2 seats = $2). We arrived to find we were seated in Row 11, seats 34 & 36 (very good seats). Feeling pretty good about our location, we settled into our chairs and waited for the show to begin. The show was running a bit late... nothing new for an opening night though. Out of nowhere, Colleen (head of ASU Public Events) strolls on to stage with a microphone to announce that tonight's performance was to be a very important one. Not only was this performance the Opening Night for the national tour of "Happy Days" (pretty huge deal)... the writer of the tv series, Garry Marshall, was in the audience as well as two of its original actors. She pointed to the crowd to indicate the location of Anson Williams ("Potsie") and Don Most ("Ralph Malph"), which appeared to be behind roomie and me... directly behind us - literally. The infamous "Potsie" and "Ralph Malph" were... RIGHT THERE. Haha. Now I'm not a star struck person, but I grew up lying on my parents' bed watching "Happy Days" on Nick at Nite... and I looooved Potsie. So it was definitely a cool experience to listen to "Potsie" and "Ralph Malph" laugh throughout the performance and talk to us during intermission... all for $2.

And yes, we got autographs. :)

This Day in History: Closing of Ellis Island

Every morning in my email box, I receive my personalize "This Day in History" from History.com - much to your surprise, I'm sure. I found today's headlining article particularly interesting and wanted to share.

****
November 12: General Interest

1954 : Ellis Island closes
On this day in 1954, Ellis Island, the gateway to America, shuts it doors after processing more than 12 million immigrants since opening in 1892. Today, an estimated 40 percent of all Americans can trace their roots through Ellis Island, located in New York Harbor off the New Jersey coast and named for merchant Samuel Ellis, who owned the land in the 1770s.

On January 2, 1892, 15-year-old Annie Moore, from Ireland, became the first person to pass through the newly opened Ellis Island, which President Benjamin Harrison designated as America's first federal immigration center in 1890. Before that time, the processing of immigrants had been handled by individual states.

Not all immigrants who sailed into New York had to go through Ellis Island. First- and second-class passengers submitted to a brief shipboard inspection and then disembarked at the piers in New York or New Jersey, where they passed through customs. People in third class, though, were transported to Ellis Island, where they underwent medical and legal inspections to ensure they didn't have a contagious disease or some condition that would make them a burden to the government. Only two percent of all immigrants were denied entrance into the U.S.

Immigration to Ellis Island peaked between 1892 and 1924, during which time the 3.3-acre island was enlarged with landfill (by the 1930s it reached its current 27.5-acre size) and additional buildings were constructed to handle the massive influx of immigrants. During the busiest year of operation, 1907, over 1 million people were processed at Ellis Island.

With America's entrance into World War I, immigration declined and Ellis Island was used as a detention center for suspected enemies. Following the war, Congress passed quota laws and the Immigration Act of 1924, which sharply reduced the number of newcomers allowed into the country and also enabled immigrants to be processed at U.S. consulates abroad. After 1924, Ellis Island switched from a processing center to serving other purposes, such as a detention and deportation center for illegal immigrants, a hospital for wounded soldiers during World War II and a Coast Guard training center. In November 1954, the last detainee, a Norwegian merchant seaman, was released and Ellis Island officially closed.

Beginning in 1984, Ellis Island underwent a $160 million renovation, the largest historic restoration project in U.S. history. In September 1990, the Ellis Island Immigration Museum opened to the public and today is visited by almost 2 million people each year.

***
You can receive your own "This Day in History" by following this link.

Because I'm Bored...

Respond with your own answers if you're so inclined.

1)​Three​ names​ you go by?
Jen
JBalls
Jenni (Don't even...reserved for family)

2) three​ thing​s you are weari​ng right​ now?
Blue Jeans
My new Victoria Secret Boucle Sweater
Red Penguin Socks

3) Are you curre​ntly happy​?​
Ridiculously. Like... I wish everyone could feel the way I do.

4) Have you ever been given​ a rose
A couple of times... romantically and with some Brotherly love

5)​ Have you ever licke​d your foot?​
Um... perhaps.

6) Have you ever been in love?​
Certainly.

7) Do you belie​ve that every​one has a soul-​mate?​
Yes. Simply, yes.

8) What'​s your curre​nt probl​em?​
Trying to find a sweet full-time job.

9) Have you ever had your heart​ broke​n?​
Yes...

10) Your thoug​hts of long dista​nce relat​ionsh​ips?​
It's entirely doable.

11) Are you a loser​?​
I'm a winner at all things. Haha.

12) How many kids do you want to have?​
To be determined.

13) What is/​are your favor​ite color​s?​
Blue and green

14) Are you afrai​d to fall in love?​
Absolutely not. Life's too short.

15) Have you ever found​ it hard to tell anyon​e you like them?​
Who hasn't???

16) Imagi​ne you'​re 40 & your spous​e just died,​ would​ you get re-​marri​ed?​
Yes. I would still have over half my life to live... far too long to spend alone.

17)​What age did you start​ notic​ing the oppos​ite sex?
Probably about the 8th grade... I was far too nerdy and into school before that.

18) What song do you want playe​d at your weddi​ng?​
Oh goodness... no idea. I mean, other than the "Cha-Cha Slide" :)

19) Do you love anyon​e?​
Plenty of people... family and friends.

20) Do you think​ someo​ne likes​ you?
Well I sure hope he still likes me... :P

21) If someo​ne liked​ you, do you want them to tell you?
Only if it's my boyfriend.... or Ryan Lynch (kidding)

What Do You Make?

More often than not when people ask me what my major is, they hear the word "History", cringe (perhaps due to horrible high school history class experiences) and say, "What are you going to do with that? Teach?" I'm never quite certain if that question is meant to sound as offensive as the tone usually lends to, however, I can see their point. Who wants to stand at the front of the room and instruct little s%#& for brains all day for minimal pay? Oh wait... I can't see their point - I do. I'm not sure why teaching has gotten such a bad rep. Most people tell me that it's how much teachers make. The average teacher in Arizona earns $38,000 a year (http://www.teachingtips.com/average-teacher-salaries/arizona/)but that is certainly not what teachers make. Below is a piece that was sent to me by a friend when I decided teaching is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Perhaps it can enlighten a few. Enjoy! :)

***

What Teachers Make, or
Objection Overruled, or
If things don't work out, you can always go to law school

By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com


He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about
teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.

"I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor," he says.
"Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.
Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write, write, write.
And then I make them read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely
beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?

Pumpkin Carving!

We had so much fun this year! They turned out REALLY good too. Check it out.


Ben's World, Andi's Indi, My Lock, Shock and Barrel, Chris's Skull and Swords


Andi's Indi


My Lock, Shock and Barrel

Discussing #2 with David Sedaris

Yes, it's midnight. And yes, I'm blogging. And yes, I'm doing it from work... at Gammage.

Tonight, the infamous David Sedaris was scheduled to read pieces of his work on the Gammage stage. In true "star-status" style, he came bursting into the Stagedoor "office" (really more of a closet) less than 20 minutes before show time and I was surprised when he didn't just trot down the stairs to backstage like 90% of the actors who come here. Instead... he stopped, stared me straight in the face and in quite possibly the most inappropriately loud voice asked me, "Do you know what the expression 'dropping a duece' means?!" To which I responded, "Of course..."
"Does it really mean to deficate?!" he asked while making a squatting motion and a hand gesture near his rear. (Chris, I know you appreciate his word choice.)
"Yes, it means to take a 'Number 2' or a 'duece'."
"That is truly hilarious. Must be an Arizona thing."
Some witty banter about Arizonans followed, after which he proceded downstairs to take the stage.

This hilarious interaction has helped me over look the fact that his end of show book signing has kept me at Gammage to this ungodly hour.

Brett Favre = Benedict Arnold

Mon Oct 20, 2008 11:45 am EDT

Report: Favre commits football treason, shares Packers' plans
By Chris Chase


Jay Glazer of FOX Sports reports that Brett Favre called the Detroit Lions earlier this year to give them a scouting report on his old team, the Green Bay Packers. Writes Glazer:
Several sources have told FOX Sports that Favre earlier this year phoned the Detroit Lions prior to their battle versus Favre's old team, the Green Bay Packers, and gave them a rundown of the nuances of what Green Bay does on offense. According to the sources, Favre actually spent over an hour on the phone with Lions coaches, who were connected with Favre by then-team president Matt Millen.

Favre has allegedly done this with a number of teams, but his chat with the Lions was more in-depth than any other, reports Glazer. Despite the Favrian tips, Detroit still lost that week 2 matchup, 48-25.

The hour long call to Detroit higher-ups came during the week Favre and the Jets were preparing for the Brady-less Patriots. Up until that point, Favre had played just one regular season game in New York. One can't help but think that the quarterback's time might have been better spent learning his new team's playbook instead of discussing his old team's playbook.

Such insider trading isn't against league rules; teams often sign players recently cut by an upcoming opponent in order to get some insight into formations and schemes. But for Favre to call up the Lions, apparently unsolicited, to divulge information comes across as petty. Although, petty as it may have been, I'm sure Brett Favre sold out his former club like a little kid having a lot of fun out there.

Into the Woods...

Erin came out to visit me for Retreat this year. Brought back some memories....

Freshman Year Fall 2004:


Senior Year Fall 2008:

"What I Learned Yesterday" by Thomas Avery

A good friend of mine posted this note on Facebook and has given me permission to share it. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.

********
What I learned yesterday.
October 4, 2008

As some of you all know I have become very involved in the Obama presidential campaign. Every Saturday and Sunday during the day I go door to door talking to voters, getting preferences, and registering unregistered voters. During the week I make phone calls and work in the office, doing what I can to get Barack Obama elected president. It was at one of the doors I got to that why I am doing this really struck home.

I went canvassing last night (the technical term for going door to door) and the last door I knocked on was occupied by a named Terry. The home was a nice, older style St. Louis house with the sort of landscaping that was once very well kept, but had since fallen into disrepair. Weeds were growing in the cracks of the cobblestone steps heading up to the house and had it not been for a light on in the upstairs I would have assumed nobody was home. As soon as the door opened out walked a middle aged man, seemingly a little leery of a stranger approaching his home at 7 o’clock on a Friday evening. I started my usual shtick of introducing myself, and telling him why I was at his door, to find out who he was voting for and what issues he cared about. I expected the worst, he scanned me with a very skeptical look and he looked deep in thought. I assumed coming was some snide remark about how John McCain was our only choice or some falsehood about Obama and his upbringing. Instead Terry was looking for the right words to express how much we need Obama to be elected president. He told a story about how he was a foreman for a plant in St. Louis for 25 years. He was a proud man who worked hard and took care of his elderly parents who lived with him. At least he could until 3 years ago, when he suffered a brain injury which now impedes his ability to talk clearly and adversely affected his motor skills. He still takes care of his parents, living off of aid from the government and money he had saved while he was working. He talked for a long time, clearly nobody had taken the time to hear his story, at least nobody recently. He is an American, forgotten.

People like John McCain and the republicans tout how big a problem government is. They say we need to eliminate programs all together and come up with private solutions for all aspects of life. What a load of garbage. We live in the greatest country on earth yet we have people who have done nothing wrong, who have worked hard and are proud Americans struggling to pay their utility bills. We have more wealth that any other nation has, yet we insist that people like Terry are “burdens of the state”, and that a free markets can provide the answers to every question. Well let me ask you, if we don’t take care of people like him what good is one dollar of that wealth? Our country wasn’t founded because we wanted no government at all, it was founded because we wanted a government that represented all Americans. This is what Barack Obama supports. Right now we have a government that only represents the very rich. If you don’t have wealth, you have no influence. This isn’t class warfare, but it is undeniable that we have a tax code that so highly favors the top one half of one percent that we now have the highest disparity between the haves and the have-nots in America since the 1920s. Republicans call Obama a “socialist” and say he wants big government to run our lives. Nonsense, he wants a government that works, that cares for veterans and people who have lived their lives in ways that have benefited our nation. We need change in our nation and we need it badly. The only way the other side can win this election is if they drive a wedge between the American people. They want to make us scared of Barack Obama and scared of each other. While I hate to see how much of my money goes to taxes each paycheck, I know that because I don’t make $250,000 a year yet, under an Obama administration my taxes would actually go down. If I did make over $250,000 my taxes would go to what they were under Bill Clinton, a time of great economic prosperity in our country. This isn’t some massive tax hike, it’s a changing of the tax code to make it more fair to the middle class, to give them a chance to make it in America.

A sign on Terry’s door warned against having an open flame because Oxygen was in use in the house. He told me not to worry, and his mother puts it on when she sleeps and that it was off during the day. His nonchalance about something as serious about his mother requiring oxygen was so striking to me. Few things I have gone though in my life could nearly be as challenging as the daily struggle that he goes though each day to make ends meet.

Every presidential candidate tells stories about voters they meet and the hardships they face. It always struck me as incredibly insincere, how could someone running for the highest office in America really care about the concerns of one person? Well yesterday I learned it does. Our country is better than this and our nation needs people like us to step up and get it done.

Thank you to everyone who read this. If you want to get involved let me know. I can get you set up right way.

Best,
Thomas

"The Nightmare Before Christmas" Covers

I recently purchased the extended soundtrack for Tim Burton's "The Nightmare Before Christmas on iTunes. To my surprise, not only does the soundtrack include every song from the movie, but also 5 covers performed by Marilyn Manson, Fiona Apple, Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy and She Wants Revenge. Some magical YouTuber has put two of the songs to film clips online. I have included them for your enjoyment. :)