I have continued to follow the story enclosed below for a few reasons. One, the act was atrocious - if, indeed, it was a homicide. Two, under any circumstances, it is never deemed appropriate to use another human being's body involuntarily to send a political message. And third, it is reminiscent of the American Revolution's hasty and overreactionary tactics of protesting the oppressive acts mandated by the British Parliament, particularly tar and feathering. Sure, let's use people who are employed by the government to have people fill out a survey as punching bags, or in this case, a billboard sign. As in history, the administrators of the Stamp Act were merely doing their job by enforcing the mandates enclosed in that act. In order to fulfill their duties, they did not commit harmful crimes, they did not trespass on to property, they did not in any way personally infringe upon the individual liberties of the members of the colonies. They were doing a job. If you don't want to fill out the census, while it is a crime, it is your discontent that you must own and not harmfully impose upon another human being in such a distructive manner. It's a damn piece of paper. A piece of paper, in fact, designed to gain the population of a state more representation in Congress so their voice is heard. Regardless of your feelings about the content you are being surveyed on in the census, it is not so invasive that a human being's life or fellow citizen's life should be spared to prove discontent. I can only hope that in the event this is determined a homicide the rash individual is brought to justice.
********************************
Census Worker Found Dead In Kentucky -- What Do We Know?
Zachary Roth
September 24, 2009, 2:54PM
Over the last 24 hours, we've been tracking a gruesome story developing involving the death of a Kentucky Census Bureau worker. The potential political implications of what happened are already generating a lot of attention around the internet -- so it's worth taking a moment to lay out what we know.
On September 12th, the body of Bill Sparkman, a 51-year old part-time Census worker and teacher was found in a remote area of the Daniel Boone National Forest, in Clay county, in rural southeast Kentucky. Sparkman reportedly had died on the morning of the day before.
According to an AP report published yesterday, the FBI is working with state police to determine whether this was a homicide, as is believed, and if so, whether it was motivated by anti-government sentiment. An anonymous law enforcement official told the AP that the man was found hanging from a tree with the word "fed" written on his chest. (The source didn't specify the instrument that had been used to write the word. MSNBC has said several times today that it was scrawled in marker, but has not sourced that information.) It's a federal crime to attack a federal worker because of his job, or while he's carrying it out.
The leak to the AP about the word "Fed" has sparked fevered speculation that Sparkman may have been murdered as an expression of anti-government -- and even specifically anti-Census -- sentiment, of the kind ginned up by conservatives of late. Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) said earlier this year that she would not fill fully out her census form, which is a crime.
But the motivation behind the killing -- if indeed it was a killing -- is not clear at this point.
A spokesman for the Kentucky police told TPMmuckraker last night that police were still looking into death, that an autopsy has been scheduled, and no cause of death has yet been listed.
And the commander of the state police post handling the case told the Lexington Herald-Leader today that the police hadn't confirmed it was a homicide. "There are too many unanswered questions for us to lean one way or the other," she said. "Every scenario is still on the table. We have not ruled this is a hate crime against a federal employee."
And an ABC News report suggests there could be more in play than raw anti-government feeling:
[S]ome people wonder if his death in the remote part of southeastern Kentucky known for its meth labs and hidden marijuana fields had less to do with his job than simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.If that speculation were accurate, the "Fed" that may have been scrawled on Sparkman's chest could be intended as a warning by criminals to law enforcement to stay away, rather than as a pure expression of opposition to government -- though it may be hard to separate those two motivations entirely.
It's not even entirely clear what Sparkman was doing in the remote area. A Census official told the AP that her office was told Sparkman's truck was found nearby, with a computer he was using for work inside.
As for the dead man himself, Sparkman's mother, Henrie Sparkman, who lives in Florida, told the AP that Bill Sparkman had moved to Kentucky to be a local director for the Boy Scouts of America. He also worked as a substitute teacher.
Census officials told the AP that Sparkman had worked for the Census since 2003, in five Kentucky counties, including Clay county.
Henrie Sparkman also said that investigators had told her the body was decomposed, and it would be better for her son to be cremated.
She added to the AP that she didn't know what had been behind her son's death. "I have my own ideas, but I can't say them out loud. Not at this point," she said.
No one answered TPMmuckraker's call to a Florida number listed for her.
Commerce Secretary Gary Locke, whose department oversees the census, said in a statement:
We are deeply saddened by the loss of our co-worker. Our thoughts and prayers are with William Sparkman's son, other family and friends.
Locke called Sparkman "a shining example of the hardworking men and women employed by the Census Bureau."
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Lakeland Florida Police caught playing Wii Bowling
Lakeland Florida Police caught playing Wii Bowling: "
Lakeland Police playing Wii Bowling during a drug bust.
Author: drummerboy199
Added: September 22, 2009
"
Lakeland Police playing Wii Bowling during a drug bust.
Author: drummerboy199
Added: September 22, 2009
"
Absolutely ridiculous. Do your job and get out.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
University Of Calif. Faculty, Students To Walk Out
More than 1,000 faculty members and students at the University of California schools are planning to walk out Thursday in protest against an increase in tuition and furloughs. Joshua Clover, an associate professor of English at the University of California, Davis, says the moves instituted by the university system's administrators mean that students are getting less attention from their professors despite having to pay more for their education.
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"I'm pretty proud of the UC system making a statement against tuition and furloughs. ASU has dealt with tuition hikes, furloughs AND a surcharge. Who knows if this will actually change anything but at least they're putting their foot down.
Evangelist Kirk Cameron Plans To Distribute Darwin's Origin Of The Species With Creationist Introduction
Evangelist Kirk Cameron Plans To Distribute Darwin's Origin Of The Species With Creationist Introduction: "
"
Do you remember Kirk Cameron, former child star and current promoter of the banana-as-proof-of-God theory of evangelism?
In a video posted recently to YouTube, Cameron lays out a plan to subvert 'Darwin Day' on November 22, 2009 -- a date marking the 150th anniversary of the publishing of Charles Darwin's 'Origin of Species.' Cameron says that he and like-minded activists plan to deliver 50,000 copies of an altered version of Darwin's book to students at dozens of U.S. universities.
Cameron explains that this 'very special' edition of the 'Origin of Species' will include an introduction explaining 'Adolf Hitler's undeniable connection' to the theory of evolution, and highlighting 'Darwin's racism' and 'his disdain for women.' Cameron's edition also exposes the 'many hoaxes' of evolutionary theory, while presenting a 'balanced view of Creationism.' (There's a pdf of this introduction here.)
Super classy guy, that Cameron. Tying Darwin to Hitler. And misogyny and racism. What, no pedophilia or necrophilia? A YouTuber who goes by the name ZOMGitsCriss responds to Cameron's plans:
WARNING: Strong language, not safe for work.
Confused about the Health Care Proposals???
These sites really helped clarify things for me. Have a look.
CNN's Health Care Reform Proposals Explainer
Rock the Vote: Health Care
New York Times FAQ Sheet
CNN's Health Care Reform Proposals Explainer
Rock the Vote: Health Care
New York Times FAQ Sheet
Monday, September 14, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Change of Shade
I finally took the big plunge. I have avoided dying my hair for three years after two years of addicted coloring. That was all changed yesterday with the spontaneous purchase of a box of dye at CVS and quick application before I could change my mind.
The Result: Love it!!!
The Result: Love it!!!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
President Obama's Education Pep Talk
Today was meant to be a day where school kids were to tune into a speech given strictly for their benefit. President Obama had planned to give a speech to kindergarten through twelfth graders regarding their responsibility for their own education. But a week ago, a fiery debate started. Parents were concerned with the administrations plan to supply a supplementary lesson plan with the speech asking the students to write an essay focusing on what they would personally do to help the President. Parents all across the country believed this was a plan to indoctrinate the students of America. To rectify the situation, the administration withdrew their lesson plan, suggested that students write an essay about their personal education goals, and agreed to release the text of the speech on Labor Day for public review. With all these attempts to pacify the public, school districts still banned showing the speech to students until the speech was reviewed. Some districts even went as far as to increase security settings on teachers' in-class internet so they could not broadcast it via online video or audio.
There are quite a few fundamental issues with this. First, while I do agree that releasing a lesson plan asking the students to write about how they're going to "help the President" does sound a little...agenda-driven, with the release of the text, teachers, parents and school officials clearly would have realized that by "help the President" the administration meant to take control of their education, thus serving their nation - a point President Obama made repeatedly throughout his speech. It's all in the wording. The administration essentially didn't ask anything different the second time around, but somehow it made a difference.
Second, this is incredibly insulting to the OFFICE of the President of the United States. I do not believe the President should be able to say whatever he damn-well pleases to the impressionable youth of America or even to the citizens of the U.S. in general. We live in a country constantly wary of authority and power abuse. However, when the President of the United States wants to encourage your child to do better in school and take control of their future regardless of their circumstances, I have a really hard time understanding that.
On that note, let's talk about censoring the President. Where were all these angry people when President G. W. Bush gave any speech? For eight long years, my poor impressional brain was subjected to his incoherent ramblings about every topic on the planet. His speeches most definitely should have been screened and edited before aired... all for the sake of the public good. In President Obama's case, at the very least, your "impressional" second grader would be exposed to an excellent public speaker addressing issues directly relevant to their life at this moment. Your second grader would be instantly engaged in their country.
Third, the growing bi-partisan canyon in the is country is destroying the institutions we have prided ourselves on for 250 years. Such a blatant sign of disrespect to the President sends the wrong message to kids, teenagers and young adults all across America. I sure hope that my future, hypothetical children will still have dreams of becoming President even after all the respect has withered away and their power resembles that of the Queen of England - a symbolic figurehead.
The speech itself was one of the most inspiring speeches I've ever heard. Obviously its basis on a topic I am very passionate about lends to its positive attributes, but also President Obama successfully related to students on a personal level. His overall message that by taking responsibility for your education, you are also taking responsibility for your civic duty is incredibly empowering for students. It's something tangible that they can do now. They can do better on their test next week. They can study a half an hour longer each night this week. They can map out their educational goals tonight. By these little steps, they are serving their nation while their nation is serving them. It's a call to duty reminiscent of President Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country." President Obama is guiding students down the path of what they can do for their country. This is definitely a message every child is entitled to hear. Democrat or Republican.
An excerpt from the speech...
For full text of President Obama's speech... Click Here.
For the news story... Click here.
There are quite a few fundamental issues with this. First, while I do agree that releasing a lesson plan asking the students to write about how they're going to "help the President" does sound a little...agenda-driven, with the release of the text, teachers, parents and school officials clearly would have realized that by "help the President" the administration meant to take control of their education, thus serving their nation - a point President Obama made repeatedly throughout his speech. It's all in the wording. The administration essentially didn't ask anything different the second time around, but somehow it made a difference.
Second, this is incredibly insulting to the OFFICE of the President of the United States. I do not believe the President should be able to say whatever he damn-well pleases to the impressionable youth of America or even to the citizens of the U.S. in general. We live in a country constantly wary of authority and power abuse. However, when the President of the United States wants to encourage your child to do better in school and take control of their future regardless of their circumstances, I have a really hard time understanding that.
On that note, let's talk about censoring the President. Where were all these angry people when President G. W. Bush gave any speech? For eight long years, my poor impressional brain was subjected to his incoherent ramblings about every topic on the planet. His speeches most definitely should have been screened and edited before aired... all for the sake of the public good. In President Obama's case, at the very least, your "impressional" second grader would be exposed to an excellent public speaker addressing issues directly relevant to their life at this moment. Your second grader would be instantly engaged in their country.
Third, the growing bi-partisan canyon in the is country is destroying the institutions we have prided ourselves on for 250 years. Such a blatant sign of disrespect to the President sends the wrong message to kids, teenagers and young adults all across America. I sure hope that my future, hypothetical children will still have dreams of becoming President even after all the respect has withered away and their power resembles that of the Queen of England - a symbolic figurehead.
The speech itself was one of the most inspiring speeches I've ever heard. Obviously its basis on a topic I am very passionate about lends to its positive attributes, but also President Obama successfully related to students on a personal level. His overall message that by taking responsibility for your education, you are also taking responsibility for your civic duty is incredibly empowering for students. It's something tangible that they can do now. They can do better on their test next week. They can study a half an hour longer each night this week. They can map out their educational goals tonight. By these little steps, they are serving their nation while their nation is serving them. It's a call to duty reminiscent of President Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country." President Obama is guiding students down the path of what they can do for their country. This is definitely a message every child is entitled to hear. Democrat or Republican.
An excerpt from the speech...
For full text of President Obama's speech... Click Here.
For the news story... Click here.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Life in Solitude
I've been avoiding my blog. Primarily because I feel guilty for not completely my European adventures synopses. I've decided everyone can just get over it. If you want to know stories, just ask me.
I now reside in my very own one bedroom apartment. Just me and the cat... *ahem*
It took me about a week and a half to shake the feeling of waiting for someone to get home. Whether or not it was conscious, I was always waiting to hear Andria get home before I actually settled in for the night. Now, I wait for no one. Now, I lock up the apartment as tight as possible and wiggle into bed with a bit of an uneasy tremble in my tummy. All in time.
Despite my camping chair living room furniture, things are coming together well. Thanks to the generous help of my family, I have a fully functional kitchen. I don't have anything on cinder blocks... so that's a plus. I'm almost fully unpacked... another plus.
Let's be honest and straight forward here. My whole "Yay! My Own First Place!!!" feeling was really overshadowed by the fact that my bank information was compromised. Somehow or another, some skeezy low-life made duplicates of my two Wells Fargo debit cards and one credit and ran about the Valley on a shopping spree. The crazy things is all of my cards were still in and have never been out of my possession. Shady. Thankfully, Wells Fargo Fraud Protection is amazing and caught it right away. While the dirtbag was able to charge about $500 to my accounts, I was able to get provisional credits so essentially I have my money back. However, that's pending a decision from investigations from the bank and police departments finding that I did not actually make those charges. That can take up to 90 days. Ugh.
My life is still a circus.
You could say my faith in institutions has been reaffirmed over the past weeks. My bank did the job they are hired to do - protect my money... and even more so, defend my integrity as an economic player. The police departments have handled my case with diligence and are keeping me posted on all information regarding my case. The utilities companies, credit card companies and loan companies have worked with me to give me reasonable extensions on my bills, even reducing the due amount temporarily until I get back on my feet. Amazing. Where there is dark... there is also light.
This event also reaffirmed my faith in the existence of some otherworldly, cosmic force. The context for this occurrence: it happened on a Thursday morning... I was moving into my new place on Friday morning... and starting back at school the following Monday. However...
The Monday before this happened, I bought all of my books for schools because I had an overwhelming desire to get it off my To-Do list.
The day before it happened, Wednesday, I went to Wells Fargo to pull out my money order to pay the apartment complex.
The day it happened, Thursday, my parents got into town. It's awfully nice to have a police officer mom to go file police reports with you. Even more important, it was extraordinary to have them here to hug me and make everything seem maintainable.
Clearly, something was working my favor. Maybe it was God handing me a little to learn from. Maybe it was Karma... getting me back for doing something that wasn't quiiiiite so bad that I deserved a full punishment. Or maybe it was just chance. Whatever it was, I'm glad it was in my favor. (Thus far, my claims haven't closed yet.)
So back to life... school is school. Political Science is really interesting... just a lot of reading. Work is going REALLY well. At the office, I'm still loving every moment of it. It's super easy when you thoroughly enjoy the people you work with. From the people in my office that I see every day to my manager in CA. Everyone is just sooo easy to work with and so pleasant and, even more important, really respectful. Gammage hasn't been in action much lately. We don't have a show until late September. However, a week from Tuesday I will be getting my certification in CPR and AED, which is pretty cool. I'll definitely feel much more comfortable working with the large crowds we attract and in emergency situations.
Now I'm heading into Labor Day weekend. Tonight, I'm speaking at a fraternity rush event for AKPsi (yay being an alumnus). Then, FINALLY, I get some quality time with the boyfriend. More adventures to be told.
I now reside in my very own one bedroom apartment. Just me and the cat... *ahem*
It took me about a week and a half to shake the feeling of waiting for someone to get home. Whether or not it was conscious, I was always waiting to hear Andria get home before I actually settled in for the night. Now, I wait for no one. Now, I lock up the apartment as tight as possible and wiggle into bed with a bit of an uneasy tremble in my tummy. All in time.
Despite my camping chair living room furniture, things are coming together well. Thanks to the generous help of my family, I have a fully functional kitchen. I don't have anything on cinder blocks... so that's a plus. I'm almost fully unpacked... another plus.
Let's be honest and straight forward here. My whole "Yay! My Own First Place!!!" feeling was really overshadowed by the fact that my bank information was compromised. Somehow or another, some skeezy low-life made duplicates of my two Wells Fargo debit cards and one credit and ran about the Valley on a shopping spree. The crazy things is all of my cards were still in and have never been out of my possession. Shady. Thankfully, Wells Fargo Fraud Protection is amazing and caught it right away. While the dirtbag was able to charge about $500 to my accounts, I was able to get provisional credits so essentially I have my money back. However, that's pending a decision from investigations from the bank and police departments finding that I did not actually make those charges. That can take up to 90 days. Ugh.
My life is still a circus.
You could say my faith in institutions has been reaffirmed over the past weeks. My bank did the job they are hired to do - protect my money... and even more so, defend my integrity as an economic player. The police departments have handled my case with diligence and are keeping me posted on all information regarding my case. The utilities companies, credit card companies and loan companies have worked with me to give me reasonable extensions on my bills, even reducing the due amount temporarily until I get back on my feet. Amazing. Where there is dark... there is also light.
This event also reaffirmed my faith in the existence of some otherworldly, cosmic force. The context for this occurrence: it happened on a Thursday morning... I was moving into my new place on Friday morning... and starting back at school the following Monday. However...
The Monday before this happened, I bought all of my books for schools because I had an overwhelming desire to get it off my To-Do list.
The day before it happened, Wednesday, I went to Wells Fargo to pull out my money order to pay the apartment complex.
The day it happened, Thursday, my parents got into town. It's awfully nice to have a police officer mom to go file police reports with you. Even more important, it was extraordinary to have them here to hug me and make everything seem maintainable.
Clearly, something was working my favor. Maybe it was God handing me a little to learn from. Maybe it was Karma... getting me back for doing something that wasn't quiiiiite so bad that I deserved a full punishment. Or maybe it was just chance. Whatever it was, I'm glad it was in my favor. (Thus far, my claims haven't closed yet.)
So back to life... school is school. Political Science is really interesting... just a lot of reading. Work is going REALLY well. At the office, I'm still loving every moment of it. It's super easy when you thoroughly enjoy the people you work with. From the people in my office that I see every day to my manager in CA. Everyone is just sooo easy to work with and so pleasant and, even more important, really respectful. Gammage hasn't been in action much lately. We don't have a show until late September. However, a week from Tuesday I will be getting my certification in CPR and AED, which is pretty cool. I'll definitely feel much more comfortable working with the large crowds we attract and in emergency situations.
Now I'm heading into Labor Day weekend. Tonight, I'm speaking at a fraternity rush event for AKPsi (yay being an alumnus). Then, FINALLY, I get some quality time with the boyfriend. More adventures to be told.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Random Thoughts.
My friend Doug sent these to me. They were too absolutely hilarious not to share.
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Random Thoughts of the Day:
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
That's enough, Nickelback.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
******************************
Random Thoughts of the Day:
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
That's enough, Nickelback.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
Monday, July 6, 2009
London, England - May 14-17, 2009
In London, we stayed at the Hootananny Hostel in Brixton, about a 15-minute Tube ride from Central London. Brixton was...interesting. To put it plainly, we witnessed a drug deal go down on the corner. Creepy, I know. Overall though, our experience in Brixton was nice. No one harassed us... a lady complimented me on the roundness of my booty (verbatim: “You have a very nice booty for a white girl... nice and round”)... and it was a pretty area.
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Hootananny was an awesome place to stay. The entire ground-floor level of the building was a bar and music venue (Hostel Residents got a 20% discount at the bar). The second and third levels were the very cramped but comfortable rooms. We stayed in a 6 bed female dorm but only had one roommate for the duration of our leg in London. I was introduced to our roommate pretty awkwardly...
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About 6am one morning, I awoke to what sounded like an elephant being dropped into the middle of the room. I rolled over very quickly in my top bunk bed to quite a vision. Our roommate, after getting tangled in her sheets, had fallen out of bed... and there she was... standing upright recovering from her falter...stark....ass....naked. I shielded my eyes quickly, waited for the sounds to settle and the door to close, indicating her departure and stretched over the edge of the bunk to see if Andria witnessed it as well. She wasn’t even there! Due to jetlag, Andria had been out of our room since 2 am and missed the entire event! We later learned our roommate’s name was Helana. She was a 46-year-old traveling massage therapist that was currently living in Hootananny. She ended up being a fabulous help when it came to things to see and do in London as well as a wealth of information regarding the culture of the UK. We got to share American information with her too... like the wisdom of “Family Guy” and “The Simpsons”.
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I had a moment outside of Parliament... “This is where things got CRAZY.” Leave it to the American Revolution historian to having a touching moment there!
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I had the best birthday known to all mankind. We went to St. Paul’s Cathedral, Tower of London, Tower Bridge and the Globe Theatre.
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“Romeo and Juliet” at the Globe Theatre is, to date, my best theatre-going experience. Andria and I bought Yard Standing tickets, which meant we don’t have seats - we’re required to stand for the duration of the show. By the way, the show was three hours long! Despite the sore feet and backs...and the freezing cold... the show was amazing! We were in the second row of people standing – right up on the stage – which made the experience. I’ve always caught on to Shakespearean humor but I admittedly don’t think I ever truly “got it” until I saw it come to life on stage. The actors really embodied their characters and it made all the difference in the world to the reception of the show. It was as if I was seeing the show for the very first time. Not only was there lots of fun and drama, there was music and interaction. Multiple times the actors came out into the Yard Standing pit and played amongst the people. It truly was extraordinary.
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London really was an amazing experience. The central portion of the city is much smaller than either of us imagined but being there touched me in a way that was larger than life. Overall, we didn’t get into too much trouble... we were saving that for Italy.
View My Pictures from London, England
My European Vacation
I will be putting up bits and pieces of my European vacation on my blog over the next few days. So much happened over the 22 days I was gone there is no way I could do any of it proper justice by trying to describe it all. If you want to know more about one thing or another, please feel free to ask me questions.... or if you get a good laugh out of our shenanigans, feel free to make fun of me. It was an extraordinary experience... I hope it all translates. :)
Monday, May 11, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Counting Down the Days...
It's been quite a while since I've posted. Life has been consumed by lots of work and preparing for our Europa trip.
Work has been going really well. The theatre has provided a variety of shows and events to work, which I love. Just the other day I worked a kids' audition. It was fun to see all the kids nervous and jittery but so transformed when they stepped on the stage.
The "new" job is still amazing. Having a little bit more leeway and decision power makes the job more enjoyable, as well as my amazing co-workers.
I'm all set for school in the Fall. Not much else to worry about on that front.
And really... that's all. BF and I are doing well. BFF and I are doing well. Roomie and I are going bonkers waiting for the big day to come.
Two weeks, in case you were wondering...
As you can tell, it really has consumed my life.
But I feel obligated to post something fun so amuse yourself with this...
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
Work has been going really well. The theatre has provided a variety of shows and events to work, which I love. Just the other day I worked a kids' audition. It was fun to see all the kids nervous and jittery but so transformed when they stepped on the stage.
The "new" job is still amazing. Having a little bit more leeway and decision power makes the job more enjoyable, as well as my amazing co-workers.
I'm all set for school in the Fall. Not much else to worry about on that front.
And really... that's all. BF and I are doing well. BFF and I are doing well. Roomie and I are going bonkers waiting for the big day to come.
Two weeks, in case you were wondering...
As you can tell, it really has consumed my life.
But I feel obligated to post something fun so amuse yourself with this...
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
"No cameras or recording devices!"
When going to the theatre, at what point does it cross your mind that you should bring a camera? And for what purpose? Oh, you're going to take pictures of you and your girls near the poster in the lobby as a momento? Okay, fair enough. But if you plan on taking a camera for the purpose of sneaking pictures during the production, please think twice. If not for your guilty conscience, knowing you will be ruining the show for those around you, at least for the sake of your own dignity because I will, without remorse, embarrass you.
This weekend, "Rent" was in full force at our venue. People lined up at 5:30am to score those magical $20 front row seats for the 7:30pm performance and the mega-fans were out to play. Maybe all the excitement of getting the front seats and the fact that "Rent is actually HERE! WITH ADAM AND ANTHONY!" blinded one young lady from the numerous signs not only all over the lobbies but the massive one on stage stating the ever-important policy...
"No cameras or recording devices"
I didn't pin her as the type as I led her to her seats early because she was wobbling around on crutchs. She seemed like one who was just there to watch the show... a law-abiding citizen. Goodness! was I wrong.
After intermission, a stage manager reported that "a boy in a pink wig" in the front row was taking pictures. I poked my head in and couldn't find a boy in a pink wig. As I stepped out into the stairway to radio the other assistant to check his side and see if anyone fit that description, another stage manager came bolting out of backstage frantically saying "It's out now, it's out now!" I bolted in to find it was no boy - it was my crutches friend. All bets were off now. We were no longer friends.
I quickly scuttled my way into the front row and just as she was zipping back up her purse I held out my hand and said, "You can give me your camera now. You can get it back after the show." The girl's face went bright red and worried... people around her started looking and pointing... BUSTED!
I exited to the lobby to delete the pictures she had taken (it's all copyrighted material). She had taken 75 pictures!!! Crazy woman! It infuriated me so much that someone would take that many pictures during a show that I got her back in my own special way...
At the end of the show, I went down to the front of the theatre to meet up with her. I handed her back her crutches and then her camera. I gave her a brief lecture about taking photos inside a theatre during a production. She then flusteredly asked me if the pictures were still on the camera...to which I responded with "Absolutely not." As the tears began to flow and she attempted to verbally reprimand me for invading her privacy by going into her camera I explained to her that what she did was illegal and if she wished to continue to argue with me about it I could get DPS so they can explain to her federal copyright laws. Obviously, that was the end of our conversation.
As I left my ex-friend in tears with a "Have a nice day", in my head I giggled a little bit. You see, because I knew that when she flipped her camera to playback to check if I got aaall the pictures, which she would undoubtedly do... that little glimmer of hope would be shattered by the only picture I did leave. The picture I took of the sign in the lobby stating no cameras or recording devices were allowed inside the theatre.
This weekend, "Rent" was in full force at our venue. People lined up at 5:30am to score those magical $20 front row seats for the 7:30pm performance and the mega-fans were out to play. Maybe all the excitement of getting the front seats and the fact that "Rent is actually HERE! WITH ADAM AND ANTHONY!" blinded one young lady from the numerous signs not only all over the lobbies but the massive one on stage stating the ever-important policy...
"No cameras or recording devices"
I didn't pin her as the type as I led her to her seats early because she was wobbling around on crutchs. She seemed like one who was just there to watch the show... a law-abiding citizen. Goodness! was I wrong.
After intermission, a stage manager reported that "a boy in a pink wig" in the front row was taking pictures. I poked my head in and couldn't find a boy in a pink wig. As I stepped out into the stairway to radio the other assistant to check his side and see if anyone fit that description, another stage manager came bolting out of backstage frantically saying "It's out now, it's out now!" I bolted in to find it was no boy - it was my crutches friend. All bets were off now. We were no longer friends.
I quickly scuttled my way into the front row and just as she was zipping back up her purse I held out my hand and said, "You can give me your camera now. You can get it back after the show." The girl's face went bright red and worried... people around her started looking and pointing... BUSTED!
I exited to the lobby to delete the pictures she had taken (it's all copyrighted material). She had taken 75 pictures!!! Crazy woman! It infuriated me so much that someone would take that many pictures during a show that I got her back in my own special way...
At the end of the show, I went down to the front of the theatre to meet up with her. I handed her back her crutches and then her camera. I gave her a brief lecture about taking photos inside a theatre during a production. She then flusteredly asked me if the pictures were still on the camera...to which I responded with "Absolutely not." As the tears began to flow and she attempted to verbally reprimand me for invading her privacy by going into her camera I explained to her that what she did was illegal and if she wished to continue to argue with me about it I could get DPS so they can explain to her federal copyright laws. Obviously, that was the end of our conversation.
As I left my ex-friend in tears with a "Have a nice day", in my head I giggled a little bit. You see, because I knew that when she flipped her camera to playback to check if I got aaall the pictures, which she would undoubtedly do... that little glimmer of hope would be shattered by the only picture I did leave. The picture I took of the sign in the lobby stating no cameras or recording devices were allowed inside the theatre.
Behind Adam Pascal's...Behind
While working "Rent" this weekend, I got the rare opportunity to accompany my boss backstage to deliver items to the stage manager. We took the back way, passing all the dressing rooms, and, inevitably, the actors. Squeezing down the very narrow hallway jammed full of travel closets and tables, we approached Adam Pascal ("Roger") bent over a table signing posters. We edged by, each whispering an "excuse me" as we passed, and it occured to me how many girls would have loved to be in my position... squeeeezing past Adam Pascal's backside.
Yeah... eat it up, ladies. Haha.
Yeah... eat it up, ladies. Haha.
Save the Duckies...
Maybe this is common knowledge...
Maybe I'm behind the times...
But this made me very happy to learn today.
You no longer have to cut the six-pack plastic binders for soda cans. Nope... just throw them in the recycle bin. Yup, they're recyclable.
Yay for saving Duckies!
Maybe I'm behind the times...
But this made me very happy to learn today.
You no longer have to cut the six-pack plastic binders for soda cans. Nope... just throw them in the recycle bin. Yup, they're recyclable.
Yay for saving Duckies!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
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